Nikki Blog

A female client that went on the date over the weekend asked me how to tell a difference if the guy is really interested or just being polite and flirty.

Nikki says “It could be quite confusing to figure out if the guy is really interested in you, or is he simply a flirtatious social butterfly.  Pick up signs such as is he nervous when he talks to you? does he writes long email when it could just be a couple of words? does he tries to be funny? does he always pick up the phone when you call? or return it as soon as he is available? Seperate flirtation and being genuinely interested. 

If he said he’s only free to meet you on every Friday night, but not on the other nights of the week, no matter what his excuses are, WATCHOUT, as he might be double dating another person.”

Once you got over the hurdle of we are married/dating thing, there is still a pressure of making it work, relighting the spark, not to say you no longer get a normal ten minutes alone anymore without interruption from the kids or from a daily work. So what if you have finally managed to clear your Outlook calendar, and found a babysitter that is not featured on Thailand’s Most Wanted list, you still bogged down with what is there to do together with your partner.

It may be tough juggling between other commitments and time for your partner, but if you don’t want to lose someone you love, follows these simple guidelines. Don’t stick to routine. Be creative. If you have a “stay in date” this time, make sure that the next date is out and away from your daily lifestyle. Set out who is organizing what for the date, or else it may end up pear-shaped and you may get into the fight. Alternate the date organization, even if he has no clue which restaurant is hip at the moment. Remember, this is not about setting the best date record or go to the nicest restaurant in Bangkok, but it’s about having a great time with someone you love, and rediscover your passion. Laugh, talk and enjoy.

Ride it out With so many bike societies in Thailand, why not check out the treks, and meet new friends togetherUseful Links:Bangkok Bikers Hash , Spice Roads (Bangkok) , Sea Hill Mountain Biking (Hau Hin) , Tour de Thailand, SweetskinZ, World Bike , Pro Bike, ThaiMTB

Take a Salsa lesson.
Most guys who dance Salsa are not gay.  So join a dance class, and you will be forced to pay attention to how the other person’s body is moving.  Be prepared to get sweep off your feet! Here is a recommended venues:Ramona Neaga is one of the best dancers in Thailand, and she teaches at her own studio in Sukhumvit area. Salsa Hatcha has a well defined course, and the class is very organized.  Also check out La Reuda, Dream Hotel, and Siam@Siam for dance floor to practice your move and free classes.  

Go to the Department Store, and challenge each other to buy the most romantic gift.
The challenge is it can’t cost more than 1000Baht, and it must be used that night. It’ll force you to think what the other person would really like with that amount of money.  It may be something you don’t really buy for them because it’s normally considered too extravagance for that price i.e. Panpuri’s bubble bath, or Jo Malone’s scented candles.   

Take pictures of the perfect night.
Bring a camera with you on the date, and ask people to take funny pose of you and your partner, or simply head into a photo booth.  Flip through the photo or make a slide show together a few months later, and it will create great memories of how much love and joy you both were feeling.

Make a music video together
Pick a song, and imitate the singer in the music video by dressing up and copying his/her style.  If the song is for a duo, then that could be even better.  Make it funny, and you will have a laugh together.  Pose the clip on http://www.Youtube.com if you want to share it with friends and more. 

Make a mini-date
Take a half an hour cocktail together after work every Wednesday. Talk about where you want to go on holidays, what you want to do this weekend, or anything that you like. The only topics that are off-limit are about kids and works. 

Pick up
If you are picking her up to go somewhere together in the morning, try leaving a single rose stem and a pot of yoghurt on the seat next to you, or some nibble that she likes eating.  It’s the little thoughts that count. 

Breakfast in Bed
Serve your partner a cup of coffee or orange juice with some muffin in bed on weekend.  The receiver will feel very special, and the giver will feel more love.      

Check into a luxurious hotel

Bangkok has one of the best hospitality services in the world.  Why not check into one of those boutique hotels near Chaopraya River and enjoy being pampered by the staffs, and sleep until check out.  MeetNLunch recommended:Arun Residence, which has a magnificent view opposite Wat Arun. 

Take a cooking class  Discover new passion together; why not take a cooking class at Baipai. Or if you feel like bringing this into another level, apply to Oriental Thai Cooking School http://www.mandarinoriental.com/hotel/510000256.asp, or Le Cordon Bleu Dusit Culinary School Tel: +66 (0) 2237 8877 for real passion.

Learn a new language and take a romantic trip Enroll in exotic language class such as Spanish, Italian or French, then take a trip to these romantic destinations where it’s spoken.  You don’t have to be fluent to make the trip worthwhile, but it’ll make you both do more things together with the same goal that is fun.

Phone Call  Most couple picked up the phone to say some errands like don’t forget to buy the shampoo home, or I’m going to be late for dinner.  Why not make a call and say you missed them and have a good day at work, and you can’t wait to see them later in the evening, or something naughty.  It’s sweet and easy.

Looked your best for the date – even if it’s just a dinner in your local soi

Every guys and girls want to be seen with good looking partner, so don’t let them wonder why they are not with a gorgeous person next to you. You will feel better about yourself too for looking sooo good. 

Rent a rowing boat and have a picnic on it  Buy some nibble and rent a boat in Suan Lumpini.  Let the guy showed off his paddling skill, while you enjoy a zip of refreshment and munch on fresh strawberries that you bought along. Stop your boat in the middle of the lake, and enjoy an uninterrupted conversation. 

Relive your first meeting and date Go to where you first met, repeat where you first had your date, speak what you said to each other, wear the same clothes, and order what you had.  The longer it was, the more fun it is, and you will know how it ended this time.

Expat male clients stated the reasons for their previous breakup with Thai girlfriends, usually stemmed from their inability to engage in a deep conversation, and their girlfriends not wanting to socialise with their friends.  The girlfriends often withdrawn, and demand “it’s me or them and breakup”.  These expats will soon come to realise that they really need someone who they can really talk with, and also like to socialise with their group of friends.  It’s no-body’s fault except the fact that they are not compatible, they were brought up very differently and shouldn’t have started dating since the beginning.  Guys are all wrapped up in the Thai ladies’ beauty cocooned, too loved up to see how this is all going to end. 

Anyway, my point is, don’t date someone just because of their looks.  Your eyes may be blinded when you fall in love, but your ears aren’t deaf. Be rational, be impressed by her other qualities, and think for once if she’s really good for you, and can you imagine yourself being with this woman for 30 years at least. 

I’ve got a phone call this morning from a female client who is “dating” another male client of mine.  Both of them have frozen their membership since they met each other two months ago.  She asked for my advice on what to do when the guy seems interested but doesn’t make the time for her. 

First of all, I really think he is genuinely interested in her, and wanted to move the relationship a step closer.  But it is either he is not balancing his lifestyle very well, and got the priority all wrong, or whenever they go out on the date, it hasn’t been that much “fun”.  Simply having dinner and watching a movie, just doesn’t do it anymore these days to keep the initial firework going.  You need a bigger momentum, a joint interest, a good hobby to keep the interest alive.  After all, there is so much you can impress someone over dinner and wine. 

She also has to be more confrontational. Raise the issue of the lack of time with him.  Get the explanation. Work out a plan to make it work with him, and if he is not on the same page with you, then the timing isn’t right, and do move on. 

Looking back over the years, there seem to be a common trend in requests of expat guys who used MeetNLunch matchmaking service. They look for someone with the following characteristics:

- professional career or own a business
- lived or experienced countries outside Thailand for a period of time

This would mean they should have a solid English and are more independent (income and socially) - a little more Western in their ways.

It was odd to see these requests at first, but to put myself in their shoes, it must be pretty hard to find these quality girls in the bars and street of Bangkok, where the expats would normally hang out.